I can’t sleep because I’m to excited for what school has to offer. I’m going to drop my dreaded Calculus class. I added a Health and Economics class to make up for the units. I’m waitlisted for a film/video editing class. Those classes all start in March (Fasttrack). I’m going to be working in the writing center, once I take the Tutoring Credentials class. I’m going to be a member of Phi Theta Kappa, which means I need to start going to the meetings (It’s not a sorority). I plan on majoring in Journalism now, and I’m looking towards San Diego State University, San Francisco State University, CSU Northridge and CSU Long Beach. I have yet to research UCs.
I’m buying a new iMac soon, which means new music and videos are coming. I got a bunch of new clothes, including new pairs of Rock & Republics, and a new pair of R&R’s that I cut into shorts. I’m getting rid of my t-shirts, and getting button ups, dress shirts and flannels. I got a new sub in my car, so it bumps heavy now. Oh yeah, and I’m going to fucking Coachella! I might also see Curren$y if he comes down.
I don’t know why, but the thought of possibly dropping my math class (I haven’t even told my mom yet) just unleashed all of these new possibilities, and showed me all the good things that have been happening, amidst the math hell I’ve been living in for the last few years.
Here’s lyrics to an interlude from the mixtape I plan on releasing. The first 8 bars were co-written with Andres, and the rest was me. I’m not sure what to title it yet.
I see divinity in Lilly, but she’s doing 360 No single direction, diving in dirt, drastically filthy The insatiable sensation mixed with emotions unfiltered Leaves Lilly content with everything that life gives her Rose walks the pavement, saved from a delayed payment Used to seeing green, but now it’s all from bank statements So paint this, natures picture perfect placements tainted—forrestation and corporate slaveships Insidious… Take time to actually picture this A frivolous scene, keen to that which is ridiculous But Rose’s sight is bleek, only sees blocked visions Light is kept dim from cracks of sidewalk incisions Ambitions never met, and though she lacks understanding Reacts to last tandem of whacked backwards planning It didn’t go well for Rose, and Lilly didn’t show up So I’m stuck here, wilted, in the thoughts of no one single person in particular… No more complacency When the fate that plagues me has been concealed by Daisy Everyday is saved from yellow vibrancies because Every way played is likened to my own likenings That’s because, like Daisy, I know nothing of melancholy Probably cuz I’m oddly talking to a Holly Falling, just to balance on these ill cracked stilts To build back the memories faded of Daffodil Almost how Autumn lacks pollen, we keep trying this To instill the potent potions and grow a Violet Aided by Apoidea, an insecta to succor souls And bring to light these leaved, green poles A composite of helium, hydrogen, it’s the clearest Endeared how a star predates human appearance The interstellar medium possesses what we know here As a permeation in the galaxy, the heliosphere And yet all of that really has one simple purpose To keep life living, to give, to nurture So as we belittle our regimented and segmented skies Classifying times, tracing timelines Nature doesn’t try to categorize their selves A daisy is a daisy, it knows nothing else A narrow perception doesn’t imply partial sights We often forget of the simple things in life Like how we each have a voice, how we have eyes and as Rose already knows, the fact that we’re alive
I wish parents could take part of the responsibilities of raising their own children into their own hands, and stop blaming MTV and music for stupid things. You should be the one raising your kid to know that ‘bad words’ exist, but there is hardly ever a context where they are acceptable. Just because a kid knows the word ‘fuck’ doesn’t mean he will use it if he was raised right.
And plus, I think it’s pretty ridiculous that Curren$y’s “Michael Knight” was censored for saying “69”, in the context of the year a car was sold. It also censored “birdbath”, which makes sense for the context it was placed in, but still… Birdbath?!?!
Finally made a new song. My first “therapeutic” venting type thing, the first one I’m actually legitimately proud of in so long. This is for anyone with a shakey relationship or just got out of one, but I hope you all enjoy it! A listen and reblog would be much appreciated, thanks haha.
AYEEMCEE // The Candle Heart
A spring sunny day when boy met girl The day cupids lucid arrow went strayed into the world Did a 180, then straight with the curl And curved to hit the lady, depraved her of her words, Hurled it in, She started with the flirty grin, Hinted by the boys squeeky voice that said come again, And that she did, traded glances when they slid By eachothers prescence in the hallways, quick She’d quivel a little giggle and he’d catch the signals, Knew how to be a man, fuck the yells and whistles, He played it simple, transitioned from same slumbers, Until he fumbled to ask and exchange numbers, Agreed — and then came the small conversation Filled “what’re you up to’s” and other situations, They placed in, still, feelings tucked inside Until that little text would let out all the butterflies.
[CHORUS] And every candle starts off with a spark, Maintained by the wind, defending from the dark, Sometimes it hurts, and the pain leaves a mark And sometimes it just leaves a scar for a heart
Luminescence, the essence of crushing adolescence So its no wonder it was too hard to be kept in, It went from texting, and then only in seconds, Or so it seemed, he gleamed to then pop the question: Well, uhm.. I know this is unusual But I’m really into you, and I heard it might be mutual, So fuck it, lemme make sense of all I spurred in, Dear princess, do you wna be my girlfriend? Smiling faces traced the outlines of her lips, And after nodding quick, she slipped that first kiss, So left the talking phase, and they became official No need for best wishes, no stresses to get into Fuck the past, or whatever they’ve both been through Cos together: infatuation was then kindled. Hung out whenever the opportunity arose and when they didnt, they wished the day was close Spewing I miss you’s and giving flowers at her home, Even if they just saw eachother an hour ago, And that was the beauty, there was no mapped pattern, Nothing could capture all that love tossed and plastered And when they felt trapped, lost of a rapture They could talk and only then nothing bad mattered So came the day they knew it was too good to be untrue, And with that gazed stare, they whispered, I love you.
Many months went by, standing the test of time, Like they studied the clock, laying in eachothers eyes But I guess some times, things turned a bit bitter, A quick slip or other shit was enough to get her Pissed and that would escalate like avalanches On mountains of their misery, sleeping in battle stances. Trapped when they’d argue on the phone at night, Conversations turn dry when they’d moan and fight, Then both hang up all mad, thinking its over, right? Then feel alone and call back and act so polite, Apologize, cos they couldnt stand the sorrows sight, Then go on and repeat the process tomorrow night This candle burned slow in the heated talk, Until it only flickered between on and off That spring love only darkened under winter skies, Which reflects the seasons and they both wonder why, Why aren’t things as good as they used to Be, Maybe its all just because you’re so used to Me, routines became everyday conventions And every fight then stopped having a new lesson Running back whenever they felt like quittin, Mixing genuine love for a sick addiction Once best friends become enemies on sight, thats when the candles flicker went out of light.